Vent Sesh

I just need to vent for a quick second.  Anyone remember Project Runway?  Yeah, most people do.  Which is why it is SO not okay for Bravo (the same channel that created Project Runway) to just dismiss that monumental designer show and replace it with "The Fashion Show".  Clearly, their recipe for shows such as this include equal parts famous supermodel, fashion designer, and harsh yet loved critic.  I'm not fooled by your tricks, Bravo.  I see what you're doing and I'm not going to watch. 

 versus

Badass Ad of the Week

The first time I saw this commercial, I thought it was going to have something to do with the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon.  He just looks like such a NERD as this guy and that makes it much funnier.  Enjoy!

Black Swan...WTF

This picture gives me nightmares.

Upon the movie’s end, I sat speechless for approximately two minutes while the credits started rolling.  Fortunately, I am no longer speechless and thus can attempt to put into words my review of the movie Black Swan starring Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and Vincent Cassel.  The movie is about the cutthroat world of ballet and its ability to delude the dancers that compete for the principal role.  So basically, take that comforting and beautiful idea of ballet that you had in your head and throw it away.  Black Swan gives it to you raw and real and at times even makes you feel uncomfortable.

Natalie Portman plays Nina Sayers in what will inevitably be an Oscar-winning role.  Nina is a perfectionist who is influenced and controlled by her has-been mother and looks up to the person that judges her most, the ballet’s director played by Cassel.  Portman is cast as the lead in a new rendition of Swan Lake where she will play both the white and the black swan.  Then things get funky.  There are a lot of graphic scenes and some unexpected gory scenes as well.  The kind that make you squirm in your seat and wonder if everyone around you feels as awkward as you do.

Portman is scary skinny and plays the innocent role so well that it becomes terrifying to see her turn into her counterpart, the black swan.  The movie had a Shutter Island feel to it in the sense that you’re still not sure what happened in real life and what was imagined.  Chatting with friends won’t help solve your problems…that’s just the reaction director Darren Aronosky wanted from his audience (he is also known for his controversial film, Requiem for a Dream).  Any more word vomit from me and I might give away too much.  And yet, I can’t stop thinking about the movie and developing my own theories as to what it all means. 

Spend or Save?  Spend before someone spoils it all for you.  Not reason enough?  Spend so that you can say you saw the Oscar-winning film before it won all its awards.    

Badass Ad of the Week

This is funny. Could you imagine if your girlfriend did that for you, guys? I would totes have more fun preparing/performing this.

In other news, I'm really going to try to post more often now that I'm "settled" into my job. So that means more movie-watching on my end!!

Transformers 3 Trailer...I think?

Really cryptic, Michael Bay. Thanks for telling me next to nothing about one of the most anticipated films of Summer 2011 (second to the final installment of HP, of course). You couldn't even give us a glimpse of Shia LaBeouf and the new Megan Fox? Oh well, I'll still take it.

Don't Show Me How To Burlesque

Have you ever seen Coyote Ugly? Or Moulin Rouge? Chicago? Well, then you’ve pretty much seen Burlesque. Struggling country gal moves to a big city to prove to herself and the world that she can sing & dance her way to fame and happiness.

Honestly, this wasn’t even my top choice for my first $5 Tuesday in months, but I was desperate to see something. Besides, nothing tops Xtina in her dirrty days and the movie promised to be visually appealing at the very least.

Let’s just say that this would make a great Broadway play…as long as the cast was given a major makeover. Okay, the pros: Cher, Stanley Tucci, and the man candy found via Eric Dane and Cam Gigandet. Cons: Christina Aguilera’s acting skills and lack of wearing a bra throughout the entire movie. I guess they couldn’t get around re-casting the lead role because she provides the vocals on the whole movie and she absolutely kills it. But really, you’re surprised to see how you look with makeup on for the first time and you’re 25? Really? Once they realized that the movie needed as little dialogue as possible, I was able to enjoy the musical numbers. The actual club in the movie, Burlesque, looks awesome. Everyone always seemed to be having fun. Seriously, I want to go there when I go to LA…does it exist?

I noticed that the audience for the movie was abnormally full of old people and some very flamboyant men. Then I remembered that Cher was in the movie. She was classic “Snap out of it!” Cher and played a great role. It’s safe to say her love ballad was enjoyed by the entire audience. Stanley Tucci played her gay best friend/costume designer and had some very entertaining one-liners.

Spend or Save? Save your money from the movie ticket and put it towards the soundtrack!

Badass Ad of the Week

I want to apologize for not writing anything in a while. I have been keeping up with most of the TV shows I watch, but since I started my new job, I haven't had the time/energy to bring myself to write about them. Sorry. But I just have to say that this commercial is straight-up baller. It's uber-creative and the mash-up in the back is totally jammable. Watch it. Love it.

MTV: Morals, Trust, and Values

The days of Date My Mom, Jackass, and Next are over. MTV (which obviously stands for Music Television) is creating a new genre of television and it’s teaching its audience how to approach life. Between the shows The Buried Life, World of Jenks, Made, Teen Mom, and If You Really Knew Me, MTV is entering a world where reality shows don’t need to have drama, sex, and humor. These four shows are documentary-style programs that feature young adults making a difference in the world and changing for the better.

The Buried Life features four Canadians who have created a bucket list and with the help of MTV productions, are trying to complete everything on it. Each episode they attempt to check one off the list and in turn must help a random person accomplish something they want to do before they die. They have reunited fathers and sons, helped a young girl conquer her fear of heights via rollercoaster, and even built soccer stadiums for third-world countries at war. Things they would like to do before they die? Help deliver a baby, streak at a sporting event and get away with it, and ask out the girl of your dreams are just a few. The show is at 10:30 pm on Mondays.

World of Jenks is a new show added to MTV’s line-up. Andrew Jenks is a filmmaker and somewhat of an anthropologist. He wants to experience life in as many different roles as possible: poker player, homeless person, rapper, etc. His ability to submerge himself in whoever he’s shadowing is more than commendable. The up-close-and-personal filming technique allows viewers to feel as if they’re along for the ride with Jenks. Check it out Mondays at 10 pm.

There have been over 100 episodes of the show Made. Honestly? Some are kind of annoying like when it’s about a brat who wants to be made into a sk8er girl or a white boy who’s trying to rap. But then there are the inspirational stories about a nerd who is a closet beauty queen. It’s a show about how a little encouragement can help you accomplish your wildest of dreams. A little encouragement and some help from MTV, that is.

I won’t dedicate much of my time to Teen Mom other than to say it’s the sequel to the show 16 & Pregnant. I guess a lot of people like it or something (it’s MTV’s most popular show second to the Jersey Shore). You should watch it or something?

The last one on my list of MTV Soup for the Soul shows is If You Really Knew Me. I’ve seen a few episodes, enough to know that they should be doing this at every school. Seems strange at first when you’re trying to pry secrets out of the bad boy or the popular girl. But then it’s as if the hosts perform this crazy voodoo thing and everyone starts crying and hugging and realizing how alike they all are. Personally, I really enjoyed high school but I know there are a bunch of schools, or even students in particular that would have benefited from a program like this.

So in case you took a hiatus from MTV due to the awful line-up that used to be, I suggest you high-tail it back to this network and see what they’re offering. I mean, it’s not like they’re playing music anymore, right?

Quotable Quote

"I've been chasing dicks since I came out of the womb."
-Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta

Wait...what?  Is that even allowed on television?  Oh, and if you're wondering in what context it was said, she was trying to explain that some people, herself included, don't understand her newfound love for women. 

The Social Network Creates Buzz

Somewhere among the numerous empty bottles of Beck’s Beer consumed by Mark Zuckerberg and clean-pressed Brooks Brothers suits donned by Eduardo Saverin, The Social Network emerged as an enjoyable display of talented young Hollywood actors. Facebook is officially the most trafficked site on the Internet as of September 10, 2010- it even surpasses Google- and dominates most of my unemployed life. Seeing a movie about the drama behind its creation satisfied my most stalkerish of dreams. At times, it felt like I was watching a male-dominated episode of Gilmore Girls with all the speed-talking and camera diversion from character to character. But after I sorted through the facts and realized that I was witnessing the story about the creation of Facebook as well as two lawsuits all happening simultaneously, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It was punchy and witty and taught me a lot about the allure of money, that is the things I didn’t already know.

The film highlights four major players, or six actual people. There’s Mark Zuckerberg, played by Jesse Eisenberg, who, pardon the language, is an egotistical pompous asshole. He’s a genius and he knows it. The only time in the whole film he’s put into his place is when his girlfriend, played by Rooney Mara, dumps him, leaving him stranded with two beers. Mark’s best friend and business partner in the movie is Eduardo Saverin, played by Andrew Garfield. He’s a suave money-hungry Harvard student who is played for a fool by Mark with the help of Sean Parker. Enter Sean Parker: a paranoid schizophrenic who is more self-absorbed than whoever that Carly Simon song is written about. He is played by none other than Justin Timberlake who brings a more realistic view of fame & fortune to the movie. The fourth player in the film is played by three characters: the Winklevoss twins and Divya Narenda. These three guys are pros at being ivy-leaguers: smart, athletic, and powerful. They originally recruit Zuckerberg to help with their elite Harvard-only dating website. And that’s where the conflict begins. Zuckerberg saw promise on his insta-shutdown website, Facesmash, and realized that combined with the ideas of the Winklevoss twins, he could create a media powerhouse.

The casting in this movie was more than well-done. The movie used all of its allotted 120 minutes but when it ended, I still felt as if there was much left unsaid. Perhaps it’s because the Facebook trials are still ongoing or perhaps it’s because the ending was very abrupt. No matter the reason, this movie left me wanting more.

Spend or Save? Spend…and spend and spend

How Do I Spend My Thursday Nights?

Another night of classic television from the fellas over at NBC. 

Community

While I was watching community, I noticed in one scene that Abed was talking to some pregnant girl in the background and was really confused. My sister pointed out a YouTube video to me, courtesy of Huffington Post, that explains Abed’s secret storyline.

The rest of the episode was full of wet t-shirt mud-wrestling and talk of faith. But I thought that Abed part was very clever, NBC.

Episode Grade: B-

30 Rock

I had to watch this episode twice because the first time I watched it, I was surrounded by my chatty Kathy friends- Fasy included –and had difficulty hearing anything. Basically, Jack Donaghy is challenged by a Congress woman played by Queen Latifah who alleges that NBC has a lack of diversity. Because of this, Liz Lemon must share her head-writer duties with Toofer. She is more than happy with this sharing of responsibilities until Toofer gets all the credit. Meanwhile, Jenna takes it upon herself to make sure Kenneth earns his spot in the NBC Page Program. In the process, she finds herself turning into the ultimate stage-mom: her own mother. This episode was particularly politically incorrect, but I guess that was necessary in order to get the point of their lack of diversity across.

Episode Grade: B

The Office

Andy Bernard is performing in a local rendition of Sweeney Todd so of COURSE the whole office attends his performance. Funny thing is, Andy is actually amazing in the play. Well, I guess that’s not funny rather it’s predictable considering he is an esteemed member of Here Comes Treble, the a cappella group from Cornell. With the help of his colleagues (namely Meredith), Michael takes a bottle of wine to the face and laments over his not being chosen for the lead role. How could they not choose him after he performed an ENTIRE episode of Law & Order for them!? What’s really sad is that Andy still likes Erin even though she is committed to Gabe. I just want the two oddballs to reunite.

Episode Grade: A-

Badass Ad of the Week

When it comes to late night shows, the only ones worth watching (in my opinion) are Jay Leno, Dave Letterman, and Jimmy Fallon. However, when I saw this promo during the MLB postseason on TBS, I giggled. Mainly because the actress (yes, actress) they use as the fake Conan is now the football coach on Glee. There's a bunch of these TBS promos being aired. I still probably won't watch Conan, but I thought the ad was funny.

Who is Andy Cohen?

Have you ever watched the Real Housewives reunion shows and wondered to yourself “Who is Andy Cohen?”  For instance, how did this flamboyant Jewish man earn his spot as host of all the table-flipping, hair-pulling housewife reunions?  Well, I wondered the same question aloud and was rendered speechless when my father told me just who he was.

Andrew Cohen is Senior Vice President of Production & Programming for the Bravo Network.  He is in charge of concocting and creating The Real Housewives of Orange County, New York, Atlanta, New Jersey, and the soon-to-be Beverly Hills.  Andy’s creative mind has also brought us Top Chef, Flipping Out, Kathy Griffin:  My Life on the D-List, and Project Runway.  He’s much more than another MTV VJ turned host; he’s a reality-television genius.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (a.k.a. Wall Street 2)

There’s just no consistency when it comes to reviews of this movie. I have friends who hated it, parents who loved it, and I just can’t decide. I think the topic that’s swaying people both ways was the movie’s portrayal of the actual Wall Street and the financial lingo that went along with it. I’m no good with numbers. I got a C in Accounting. But I’m fine with that and Hollywood should be as well. What I don’t understand is why, in the movie, they even made a joke about how NO ONE knows what half of the jargon means. Isn’t that a clue that the rest of us won’t know either?

 

I still really enjoyed watching the movie. The star-studded cast pleased my eyes which included everyone from Michael Douglas, Josh Brolin, and Shia LaBeouf to newcomer Carey Mulligan and Eli Wallach (the cute old man from The Holiday who explains the meaning of gumption). The plot of the movie actually mimicked the stock market crash of 2008. It was interesting and yet sad to see how the downfall of our economy happened and how it affected so many people in different ways: a suicide, a hostile takeover, lies, tears, and even reconnections with loved ones. Carey Mulligan was mainly responsible for the tears; I don’t think there was a scene in the whole movie where her eyes didn’t well up. The crazy talk of bubbles and moral hazard really did set the themes for the movie and yet, I couldn’t explain to you what a bubble is. Like I said, I enjoyed watching the movie but the analysis part isn’t really an easy homework project for me.

 

Things I will take away from this movie:

• Josh Brolin is a great actor and an even better villain.
• NINJA Generation = No Income, No Job, No Assets
• Never trust someone whose motto used to be “Greed Is Good”.
• The rumor mill within the financial world can be 1000X more detrimental than middle school.
• When Eli Wallach whistles, he’s trying to tell us the apocalypse is coming (though I’m still not sure why).
• Breaking one big story on a blog can gain you fame and fortune, though usually you’re not working for a non-profit blog for that purpose.

 

Spend or Save? Spend…but only because I foresee myself wanting to watch this again to really understand what it meant.

Lonestar Walks Alone

Just a few days ago, I decided to hop on Hulu and check out some new shows that I hadn’t seen yet. Lonestar was one of the shows that had received some pre-premiere buzz and I decided to head in that direction.

The handsome young gentleman starring in the leading role, James Wolk as Robert “Bob” Allen, plays a con-man torn between the love of two women in separate Texas towns.

His father, played by David Keith, taught him the ways of the con early on in life and Robert’s been in the family business ever since. Robert Allen’s wife is part of an oil tycoon family where Jon Voight plays the father and head of the black gold-crazed company. “Bob” Allen’s girlfriend lives in a rinky-dink town where most inhabitants have been exploited by Bob. Before they’re onto him, he must leave the town and establish his true lifestyle with his wife. At this point in the pilot, he kind of had a Dawson Leery-esque mental breakdown in the car which had me questioning his manhood. He pulls it together long enough to be torn apart again when his father tells him he MUST pull a con on the oil company at which he was just hired. Yes, his father-in-law’s oil company. It sounds crazy and not really plausible but hey, that’s what makes great TV, right?

And just like that, the show was cancelled! After a mere two episodes of primetime television. How can you make a call like that? The show aired Monday nights at 9 PM on FOX – same time as Dancing With The Stars (which of course I’m a fan of as well). The pilot episode received rave reviews before it even aired and just because of a small numbers issue (only 4.1 million viewers tuned in), it was given the boot. My point is: why didn’t the show do well? It’s lead-in show was House which seems to be everyone’s favorite medical drama these post-E.R. days. Seems like the target audience should have stayed tuned in. I guess some things are just inexplicable. One less show to add to my viewing schedule, though it’s really unfortunate that I won’t get to see James Wolk’s beautiful baby face on primetime again.

Badass Ad of the Week

This commercial makes me laugh everytime. I'm never expecting the little piggy to have the voice of a pre-pubescent boy or the mother to be annoyed with the little piggy crying "wee wee wee" all the way home. Just another mascot for the GEICO commercials.

How Do I Spend My Thursday Nights?

Community

Just last night I saw Joel McHale live at the Oakdale Theater. He was funny. He did little bits that I could imagine being on his show, The Soup. What he didn’t do, however, was plug his own show, Community. Now, I already watch that show, but it made me respect him a little bit more (because I know him personally and all…).

Thursday’s episode is sure to be a classic. The study group finds themselves competing for Jeff’s time after an old lawyer colleague, Alan Connor (played by Rob Corddry from Hot Tub Time Machine) finds Jeff after coming to Greendale for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Shortly after meeting Alan, Annie realizes that she recognizes him from a past NA meeting where he bragged about turning Jeff into the National Bar Association for false lawyer credentials (whew). Of course, he has a difficult time believing his study buddies and chooses to go to a law office party instead of the Pop and Lockathon which the group committed to. The contest is also Senor Chang’s chance to finally join the study group which lands him as the sole contestant for their team, the Heather Pop & Locklears. At a party where Drew Carey stars as a partner of the company, Annie, Troy, & Abed finagle their way into an office to prove Alan turned Jeff in while also drugging a janitor. There is literally too much in this episode to comment on including Jeff’s line “Don’t sue her. She’s a stripper. Life sued her and she lost.” The team ends up getting disqualified while an evil-laughing Chang passes out with fury.
Episode Grade: A-

30 Rock

“When It Rains It Pours” was the name of the episode and a very fitting tagline for the theme of the episode. Liz Lemon finds herself getting attention from all walks of man for the sole fact that she is in a relationship. Paul Giamatti plays a TGS editor spreading rumors about a fake relationship he kindled with Liz Lemon. A masked page is running around The Girly Show set completing tasks that no one has been able to do since Kenneth left. Jack and Avery find out they are having a son so Jack takes it upon himself to make a video diary providing advice on every possible situation his son may find himself in…including how to camouflage yourself. Tracy is busy finding a way to make it to the hospital for the birth of his third child and lands himself in the Cash Cab with Ben Bailey.

His odd experiences somehow give him the knowledge to answer all his questions correctly for instance, when did the U.S. receive the Statue of Liberty? Jack Donaghy reveals the masked page to be Kenneth and then is stunned again when he finds out he will be father to a daughter, not a son. The jokes never stopped coming during this half hour comedy.
Episode Grade: A

The Office

Michael Scott must suffer the repercussions of the alleged spanking incident and undergo counseling. His assigned counselor? His arch nemesis, Toby. After three hours and many failed attempts to get through to Michael, Toby tricks Michael into playing games with hopes of him opening up. It works! Until Michael finds out and is infuriated. Pam is tired of being an awful salesperson. The only other option is creating a faux position: Office Administrator. Meanwhile, Dwight has been denied service at a store in the mall because of what he assumes to be his appearance. The office collaborates to help Dwight pull a “Pretty Woman” on the store, letting them know what a big mistake they made. Later, we find out that Dwight was refused service because of the safety hazard he posed by having blood smeared over his hands. It was another classic episode, including this typical Kelly Kapoor line, “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out.” I can relate.
Episode Grade: A-

I chose to not watch Outsourced this week because it failed to wow me the week before. Sorry if I let any of you down, though I'm sure I didn't.

Dancing With The Stars: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly (Week 2)

Since this was only the second week of Dancing With The Stars, there was still a wide range of talent on display for America. David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff was kicked off after last week’s odd & flamboyant performance. Until the dancing gets better as the contestant pool gets smaller, I’ll stick with classifying performances as The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly.

The Good

Rick Fox – His graceful moves made him an official contender for the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy.
Audrina Patridge – Continuing with her theme of scandalous dresses, Audrina improved greatly, earning praise from the judges.
Jennifer Gray – Her drama queen antics may not bother everyone, but she gets on my nerves. That being said, she’s very talented which doesn’t go unnoticed.
Kyle Massey – The Disney Channel star did it again, this time with a modernized version of the Quickstep. Kyle also got the crowd laughing while he joked about not following the strict diet he’s been put on.
Kurt Warner – The NFL star managed to stick with the good crowd by showing his smooth moves.

The Bad

Brandy – Though she still out-performed other dancers, she retrogressed from last week. Plus, she’s got some attitude problems.
Florence Henderson – The high level of fitness required for this week’s dances did flow with Flo.
Margaret Cho – I’ll give her props for learning to leave the humor out of it, but she still isn’t ready for the dancing big leagues.
The Situation – All that fist-pumping and no rhythm.
Bristol Palin – I’m pretty sure the only reason the judges gave her positive feedback was because her mom was in the audience. She’s not a good dancer. Sorry I said it.

The Ugly

Michael Bolton – I Said You Danced Well But I Lied. How Am I Supposed To Live With Your Dancing? When A Man Loves A Woman…guess that one doesn’t really work.

How I miss this hair

Michael Bolton was kicked off the following night after receiving an embarrassing score of 12/30. Notables in the audience: Sarah Palin, Ray J, Jamie Lee Curtis, Brad Womack (the old but new Bachelor), stars from the Brady Bunch, Romany Malco (Conrad from Weeds), and Chelsea Staub (from Disney show Jonas L.A.).

Episode Grade: B-

Live From New York...

So I know I’ve told you all that I’m a huge fan of Saturday Night Live. But I’m going to tell you right now that when I came home from a night of attempting to be a college student again, followed by an equally impressive rally at a football game, followed by a night of babysitting, I couldn’t stay awake until 1 am. But I did watch a large portion of it which is what I’ll comment on.

At 11:30 pm, host Amy Poehler commenced the 36th season of popular variety show, Saturday Night Live. Poehler’s opening monologue was absolutely fitting for her triumphant return to Saturday Night Live, her first time as a host! Guest appearances -made by Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, and Justin Timberlake to name a few- flooded the stage as Poehler walked us through a crazy dream she had. Maya Rudolph returned to the NBC set for the sketch Brooklyn Beats where she and Poehler play two stereotypical Brooklyn mothers gossiping about anything and everything. Katy Perry, the musical guest for the evening, appeared in the skit in a shirt mocking her recent stint on Sesame Street. The singing starlet, known for her pop beats and perky boobs, wore a shirt with Elmo’s stretched out head on the front. Recently, Katy Perry’s Sesame Street segment was pulled from the air after outraged mothers complained about her cleavage. Though I’m sure she’s not sorry for it, she poked fun at herself, something all Saturday Night Live hosts and guests must be able to do, and got fits of laughter from the audience.

I think it’s fair to say that Elmo wasn’t tickled by Katy Perry’s musical performance to “California Girls”. It was evident that her much auto-tuned voice on the radio didn’t translate so well via the live performance. Her dance moves looked mechanical at best…think Britney Spears at the VMA’s right before her nervous breakdown. Perhaps she should stick with live acting?

The longest segment of the night and in my opinion, the best, was Weekend Update with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler. The two have an on-screen chemistry that, while not romantic, is symbolic of their long-standing friendship. Their “Really?!” segment was laughable, but it was honestly seeing the two of them together again that made this portion of the show so enjoyable.

Aaaanddd, this is when I fell asleep. Sorry, guys. I highly suggest you watch the entire episode to familiarize yourself with great television. Here’s the episode below:



Episode Grade: B+ (from what I saw)

Badass Ad of the Week

I don't actually participate in Fantasy Football, but I've known enough guys that do to know that this rings true among them. What I don't understand is how your loyalty can be shared among teams based on who you've got on your fantasy team. If you're a Patriots fan, you can't go around telling everyone you're a huge Tony Romo fan. Regardless, I love when sports players are in commercials...it's like watching a dog walk on its hind legs (thank you Mean Girls).

The Spotlight of the Month: Emma Stone

So Fasy had the idea that each month, we would feature an actor or actress who we would put under the spotlight.  You know, like talk about a newcomer to show business and films you can find them in, or perhaps reflect on a classic performer.  This month, we’re going with:

Emma Stone

  She can be seen in the film Easy A out this month.  You may recognize her from Superbad or even Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.  She has a husky voice and a unique look, but she stands out on her own.   

Easy A

With her vocabulary that surpasses most college graduates, Emma Stone as faux-promiscuous high school student, Olive, takes the cake in Easy A.  You give an inch, they take a mile.  Olive went along with a lie about losing her virginity and so her life turned into a destructive black hole in which she is portrayed as a harlot.

Emma Stone knows her role and plays it well.  And what role is that, exactly?  Well, after her best friend, Rhiannon, mistakes Olive’s silence as an indication that she had sex with a community college student over the weekend, Olive becomes the jezebel that rumors say she is.  After the rumor leaked that Olive was no longer a virgin, she decides to fight back with words to her haters from the Christian Club.  This lands her in detention where she reconnects with Brandon, a not-yet-out gay friend.  Olive inadvertently suggests that he pretend to be straight to assimilate to high school life and in turn landed herself in a predicament.  She has to help Brandon by pretending to have sex with him at one of the most popular girl in school’s house party.  In one of the funniest scenes in the movie where Olive and Brandon spank each other and call out what they believe to be “dirty talk”, they have successfully convinced the school of their hook-up.  The rumor mill is at it again, except this time, she is getting noticed…by the losers of the school looking for her to perform the same deed she did for Brandon:  a fake hook-up.  Effectively turning herself into somewhat of a prostitute, Olive allows boys to spread rumors about their non-existent sexcapades in turn for gift cards to Office Depot and lotions from Bath & Body Works.  The Christian Club is closing in on her possible expulsion leading Olive to sew the letter “A” onto all of her corsette tops, channeling her inner Hester Prynne. 

Up until now, the movie had pretty accurately depicted high school.  And then, we see a high school sex scandal unravel before our very eyes.  The guidance counselor has gotten herself into a sticky situation with a Super Senior by giving him an STD.  In order to save the guidance counselor’s position, the student uses Olive as his decoy when asked who he had sex with.  Emotionally feeling the effect of this rumor, Olive decides to create a video blog to document her actions of the past month.  No rumors, just the truth. 

Admist all of her sexual dealings, Olive finds herself falling for Woodchuck Todd, a friend who has been there all along and knows what really happened, even without Olive telling him.  In a tribute to all John Hughes’ 80’s movies, Olive and Woodchuck Todd ride off on a lawn mower together making sure to fist pump for the camera’s last still shot. 

I enjoyed this movie.  It satisfied my laugh quota for the day and gave me a few new lines to quote.  However, I just really didn’t find it all that believable.  I know that’s what movies are supposed/allowed to do:  be unbelievable.  But that only works with sci-fi for me.  Olive’s slightly unrealistic relationship with her hip parents plays a small part in the movie but has a great impact.  The sharp dialogue between the family members is somewhat unbelievable and yet, they manage to unearth the problem lying behind Olive’s newly adopted provocative wardrobe.  The sex scandal that arises is another issue I have with the realistic aspect of the movie.  But I guess that stuff happens, right?  Rock on, Emma Stone, rock on.

Spend or Save?  Spend…or just wait for its DVD release. 

How Do I Spend My Thursday Nights?

Watching NBC. Plain and simple, that’s what I do. The line-up is unmatched: Community, 30 Rock, The Office, and the newbie, Outsourced. So here is how my Thirsty Thursday panned out:

Community

Last season’s finale left off with Britta confessing her love for Jeff (Joel McHale). His response? Sneaking away to make out with Annie. After their summer vacation, we re-visit the Greendale Community College study buddies and witness the drama that unfolds. After being empowered by other women, Britta must go along with a fake relationship initiated by Jeff in order to continue her reign as the female idol. Betty White guest stars as a crazed and perhaps senile anthropology teacher whose lesson to teach the class about the power of respect turns into attempted murder. Senor Chang (Ken Jeong) finds himself as a student at the very establishment where he was formerly a professor and desperately tries to appear cool so as to receive an invite to the popular study group. The drama arrives when Britta discovers the secret kiss shared between Jeff and Annie. The episode wraps with a brilliant scene in which Senor Chang channels his inner-Gollum in a psychotic yet hilarious monologue.
Episode Grade: A-

30 Rock

Matt Damon guest starred yet again, providing a treat in the very first episode of the season. He plays Carol, a pilot who is dating Liz Lemon. As Jack Donaghy tries to teach Liz about dating tactics, it seems that he’s having some trouble of his own figuring out the motives of his new girlfriend, Avery (played by Elizabeth Banks). Kenneth the Page has left 30 Rockefeller Plaza to work for CBS and Tracy Jordan is having a tough time dealing with the adjustment. In an episode dominated by the all too often inappropriate game of “Would You Rather?” we find out that Liz is terrified of falling into a relationship resembling The Barefoot Contessa and her spouse, Jeffrey. It seemed that this episode was a bit more daring in the FCC regulations department and yet a great episode was produced.
Episode Grade: B+

The Office

The 7th and final season for Michael Scott started off with a bang…and a new opening credits scene! The episode opens with “Lip Dub”, a viral video made for Youtube by the employees of Sabre, the former Dunder Mifflin.



It’s been said that this final season will be a culmination of all things Michael Scott- every storyline they have wanted to do for him and more. The office has a new face: Michael’s unkempt and unruly nephew. Though at first the office doesn’t know that he is related to Michael, they find out and scold Michael for nepotism, a word which he doesn’t quite understand the meaning of. After ruining a brilliant prank that Jim has hatched for Dwight, Pam takes it upon herself to prank Dwight. The prank backfires and she ends up stuck in an elevator with Dwight whose survival instinct kicks in when he decides the need the designate the urine corner. After the incessant complaints to Michael about his useless nephew, Michael scolds him by spanking him in front of the entire office. Definitely not appropriate or legal, but everyone in the office finds it hilarious and reenacts the moment for Pam and Dwight who missed while stuck in the elevator. Great quotes, great cast, great show.
Episode Grade: A

Outsourced

So I decided to give this show a try because I thought the idea had potential. I’m not writing this in past tense because I now disagree, but I also don’t whole heartedly agree…at least not yet. So here’s the run-down: Todd was just trained for a managerial position at an American Novelties telemarketing company. When he returns to his office he finds that they have outsourced their telemarketing to talent in India. He decides to keep his job and his story begins at his new office building. The cast of characters playing the employees is unique to say the least. There’s Manmeet the actor, Gupta the incessant talker, and Madhuri the low-talker. The idea for the show stemmed from a short film made in 2006 but perhaps some more kinks need to be worked out. There were some laughs to be had but I’m not sure how long this politically incorrect show can stay afloat.
Episode Grade: C+

Congrats, Fasy!

I want to take this time to congratulate our very own FASY, in her own post, for getting her first big-girl job! It’s about time (I can say this because we know I’m still unemployed). Now when we go out and you say “Shots on me!” I won’t feel as bad as I used to. Look out everyone, Fasy is taking the world by storm. As a present, I decided to post an awesome scene from one of your favorite movies, Stand By Me.

Modern Family: A Trifecta of Perfection

Last semester, my roommate was student-teaching and thus couldn’t leave the couch on weeknights to enjoy the vices most senior college students should. Maybe it was pity for her boring night ahead or perhaps the empty calories I knew I would be consuming in alcohol, but on Wednesday nights, I joined her on our green sofa for a night of wholesome family television, courtesy of ABC. It usually started with The Middle, followed by Modern Family, and ended with Cougartown, a show that we watched simply because the TV was turned on. I fell in love with Modern Family. The three separate families depicted in the show each bring something special and hilarious to the table. Wednesday night (sorry for the late review) brought the premiere of the Emmy-winning comedy and it was nothing short of perfection.

Claire and Phil decide they should polish up and finally sell their old station wagon…that is until Claire breaks down after remembering all the memories that the wagon has provided them with. In a split-second decision, Phil has decided to take Claire and the kids on one last ride in the wagon, complete with the cliché park-the-car-on-the-cliff-overlooking-the-city. When the brakes in the wagon give out, a window of opportunity opened for Claire to yell “What’s the plan, Phil?!” in what is sure to be a classic line of this season.

Meanwhile, Gloria is having issues with Manny’s study date from class. Though she denies the fact that she is not a typical Colombian mother who can’t let go of her son, her actions tell another story. From the dash of salt in the chocolate milk refusal to Manny’s decision to combine notebooks with the study date, Gloria is slowly seeing her son slip away. In the end, he decides to go for another girl. No, not Gloria but rather another girl from his class: Manny the Pimp.

In the third household that rounds out the trifecta, Cam and Mitch are putting together a playhouse/castle for Lily. Mitch, who claims he is a pro at handiwork, thanks to a set design he helped create years ago, is an accident waiting to happen. Cam and Jay (Mitch’s father) work to keep Mitch occupied with childish tasks to keep him away from any harmful tools. Trying to prove himself, he finishes the castle creation and in turn locks himself inside of it with a bird.

Modern Family is undoubtedly a classic television show in the making.

Episode Grade: A

Hawaii Five-Okay

I have always been a fan of the phrase “Book ‘em, Danno” ever since I saw them say it in Saved By The Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas. I never had ANY idea that it was a catchphrase made popular by the 80’s hit show, Hawaii Five-0. On Monday night, I tuned in to the premiere of the resurrection of Hawaii Five-O. The fate of a series remake can go one of two ways. Just looking at the CW alone (thanks for bringing it to my attention, Fasy) we have Melrose Place and 90210. Both hit shows in the 90’s that were brought back to life and, in the case of the new Melrose Place, put to rest yet again. What I see in the new Hawaii Five-O is potential. I can’t make any monumental comments about it just yet because the pilot episode simply sets up the season’s premise.

The plot? Detective Steve McGarrett (played by Alex O’Loughlin) is the Navy SEAL son of Detective McGarrett, of the original series, who takes it upon himself to find out who killed his father as demonstrated in the opening scene of the premiere. He enlists the help of Detective Danny “Danno” Williams (played by Scott Caan, a personal favorite) with whom he doesn’t initially see eye-to-eye with. The witty banter and occasional physical contact between these two makes for an entertaining relationship. They also look to add to their team ex-Detective Chin Ho Kelly (played by Daniel Dae Kim) and his cousin, young & beautiful Detective Kona Kalakaua (played by Grace Park). Their team, still searching for a fitting name (wonder what they’ll settle on) answers to Governor Pat Jameson (played by Jean Smart).

Like I said, it’s hard to tell about the fate of a television show until a few episodes in, but I will most likely be situated in front of the television Monday nights at 10 pm tuned in to Fox. I suggest you all do the same.

Episode Grade: B-

Badass Ad of the Week

Besides the fact that this is a McDonald's commercial, it's clever and amazingly indicative of a true New England-er. Although Connecticut is known for not having an accent (among other things of course...Nutmeg State anyone?), I appreciate and wholeheartedly love both Boston and New York accents.

Dancing With The Stars: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Last night kicked off Season 11 of Dancing With The Stars and what will be, in my eyes, the most watched season of the show. The cast is chock-full of stars. Well, technically it’s full of people who have been in the media limelight as well as some that are relative unknowns. A full two-hour show was used to showcase each one of the cast members’ rhythmic talents for the first time. The unveiling was surprising for some members (Rick Fox) and expected for others (Jennifer Grey). In case you missed it, here’s a list of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

Audrina Patridge: Surprisingly a show-stopper! She already has that DWTS body that usually comes after a full season of meringues and salsas.
Rick Fox: Height’s no problem for this NBA babe. He was elegant and graceful and is sure to go far in this season due to Carrie Ann’s crush on him.
Kyle Massey: As a former avid Disney Channel watcher, I knew exactly who this vivacious teen was. His jaw-dropping performance should be the first of many.
Brandy: As her brother, Ray-J, cheered her on, she performed as many expected her to…with ease.
Jennifer Grey: After an emotional practice session that triggered memories of the late Patrick Swayze, she was ready to flaunt her skills from the Dirty Dancing days.

The Bad

Bristol Palin: Performing to “Momma Told Me Not To Come” was the beginning of her downfall. The extent of her talent was shaking her booty which couldn’t help me think about it contributing to her teen pregnancy.
Florence Henderson: Her performance was only so-so, but her body is not a day over 40. She is 76 years old and livelier than some of the other performers.
Kurt Warner: This ex-NFL Superbowl MVP has a 1,000 mega-watt smile but lacks the elegance and grace of a dancer. Perhaps a few more practice sessions?

The Ugly

Margaret Cho: You are a comedian. Not a dancer. Do not try to mix the two in an attempt to gain support.
Michael Bolton: I love Michael Bolton, I really do. First cassette tape I ever owned. He can’t dance. Just stick to singing and I will continue with my undying affection for you.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino: His name in the credits is actually “The Situation”? Wow. He only had about five days to rehearse and I wouldn’t have said his routine was that awful, but he needs to improve a lot to stick around for future episodes.

You may have noticed that I didn’t talk about The Hoff. David Hasselhoff cannot be categorized as any of the above. His performance was indescribable. But I’ll try. He ripped off his clothes, made crazy faces, and got the crowd going. He’s not half-bad, but he hasn’t quite teetered over to the good side. I’ll be sure to keep watching for more of his grunting outbursts during practice sessions.

Notable stars in the audience included Jamie Lee Curtis (there to support Jennifer Grey), The Situation’s sister who has appeared on a few Jersey Shore episodes, Eliza Dushku (Rick Fox’s girlfriend, 20 years his junior), and Ray-J. Not in attendance was Sarah Palin. Don’t worry- she’ll be there next week!

Episode Grade: B+

Sex Doesn't Always Sell: Decline of the CW

Back in 2006 when Warner Bros. and CBS Corp. formed the CW, they had grand plans for the major cable network to flourish, especially for women ages 18-34. With well-established hits such as Gilmore Girls and 7th Heaven heading the line-up of family-dramas, young girls flocked to their silver screens each night. Popularity continued with the introduction of One Tree Hill, America's Next Top Model, Supernatural and Smallville, and the CW soared in ratings.

Cut-to four years later, in the midst of an economic decline, with major networks such as NBC and ABC grasping at straws in the form of Cougar Town and Lipstick Jungle, the CW has also found itself in a state of decay. The teens that stressed alongside Mary Camden during her latest boy troubles, or Rory Gilmore's choice between Yale and Harvard, have grown-up. The CW has since upped it's game, providing this young, sex-craved generation with not-so family-orientated shows such as Gossip Girl, 90210 and, hopping on the bandwagon, The Vampire Diaries. In a world where scantily-clad girls rule all, these walking stick figures who lack acting chops have taken over the CW, providing teens with unrealistic and unrelatable story-lines.

Even though the CW appears to have given audiences just what they want, ratings continue to plummet. It seems that in a world where young women are surrounded by sex and sluts on stilts, what they really need, and even more surprisingly what they want, are shows with backbone, a little comedy and characters they can actually relate to. FOX and ABCFamily seem to have hit the mark with hits such as GLEE, HUGE and Secret Life of the American Teenager, where societal outcasts become the stars of their own stories, and the public approves in a major way. This change is not only refreshing for the youth of America, but has given these underdog networks a platform for triumph.

Bottom line: media and society put enough pressures on young people today, sometimes it is nice to relax in someone else's realities.

So Many Movies...So Little Money

There are more than my bank account’s worth of movies that I am just dying to see in the coming weeks!!  Here’s a list of some of my chart-toppers…whatayathink?

Wall Street:  Money Never Sleeps

I saw the first one per the request of my dad.  He said “Gordon Gekko’s a character,” and I can’t help but to agree with him.  I hated him for the majority of the first movie, but it was probs an awesome role to play.  Anyway…this movie looks like the perfect combination of wealth, greed, sophistication, and crookedness.  Shia LaBeouf is one of my favorite Young Hollywood actors and it looks like he nails it.  It should also be interesting to see his relationship on-screen with his off-screen girlfriend, Carey Mulligan.

Easy A

To call something “The New Mean Girls” is just unacceptable.  Unless, of course, it lives up to its name.  Emma Stone is a funny female actress, a rarity in Hollywood, and I think she could play her part really well.  Mix in some great one-liners and I’d put it in the running.

The Town

So I was seeing some other movie and while waiting for the previews to start, some kid starts talking about how this movie, The Town, is like The Departed.  Well, The Departed is another one of my favorite movies and in my opinion, you can’t just go around saying stuff like that.  No one has ever been more surprised by an ending like that to a movie since The Sixth Sense.  Comparison aside, this movie has potential.  Ben Affleck writing/directing anything has potential, let’s be serious.  It looks like they’ve cast a lot of well-known stars so I’m interested in seeing whether or not I believe them playing their roles altogether in one movie. 

The Social Network

I love Facebook.  It’s the most brilliant distraction tool ever invented.  And now, we get to see the drama behind its creation.  Plus, Kanye West’s “Power” in the trailer is perfect.

127 Hours

I kinda remember hearing the story about Aron Ralston who had to cut off his own arm after being trapped under a rock for five days.  Now it’s being made into a movie?  And it stars James Franco?  And the majority of the movie takes place while he’s trapped under a rock?  Wait, what?  Nevermind, I’m there.

Catfish

A true story.  I’ve heard that one before.  But this one is oddly believable.  It’s about some kid who kindles a relationship with a girl through, what else, Facebook.  He’s getting serious with her and decides he’s gonna take a trip to her house and surprise her.  At this point, s**t starts getting weird.  They don’t reveal much in the trailer because IT’S THAT GOOD. 

So that’s pretty much my fall movie wishlist.  Please let the rain pour down so I can collect my $20 every time I mow the lawn.  I’m gonna need a lot of money for this line-up.  Fasy and I will do our best to catch some of these flicks and review them for all of you out there.  Adios!

No More NOLA for The Real World

Last night was the season finale of The Real World: New Orleans (tear). We know that I was a huge fan of this season, however, the whole drama kind of disintegrated once Ryan chose to leave the show. Scratch that, he didn’t even choose to leave, he was asked to leave. As much as I hated him, he was great television.

This episode failed to draw tears on my behalf which is unusual for a Real World season finale. While they were all busy bawling their eyes out, yapping about how much NOLA has changed them, and downing their last Hurricanes, I was wondering why I wasn’t feeling sappy myself. I guess I liked them so much and truly believe they will be friends after this experience. I’ve been to New Orleans before to do an alternative break through my school and it really did have a huge impact on me. I feel that.

Jaw-dropping moment of the night was Knight! His transformation over the season is unbelievable…I mean that in the literal sense of the word. Like, how did he drop 30 lbs., get blond hair, and tan? I mean, I know how he did it but it’s crazy to watch and see it happen before your very eyes. As my friend said at the end of the show, “Knight’s a stud”.

As “nice” as the whole cast was in this final episode, it didn’t do much for me in my mind-numbing state while watching the tube.

Episode Grade: C

Badass Ad of the Week

This video is awesome. I'm a huge tennis fan and although my sister tries to persuade me DAILY that Roger Federer is a hottie, I will not accept. He's talented, I'll give him that, but not hot. In this commercial, however, I will admit that he's "cute"...and surprisingly funny.

George Clooney's The UN-American

Do you ever watch a preview for a movie and think, "Well, I still don't know what it's about, but I'm sure that's what they were aiming for…"? That was my thought process for George Clooney’s The American. Never again will I think that way. I can honestly put this movie in my top 10 worst movies I’ve ever seen. And believe me, my list is pretty short because I typically have positive reactions to movies.

Here’s the premise: George Clooney is a weapons manufacturer who travels around Italy on a job and tries to find true love and evade an inevitable fate. I couldn’t help but think that he chose to direct/star in this movie because it’s in Italy where everyone knows he practically owns Lake Como. I spent the entire movie wondering when it was going to pick up. It had no background music which is awkward…like my first time watching The Office without a laugh track. Speaking of awkward, I saw it with my parents which isn’t abnormal. I’m at the age where I’m cool with being seen with them and all, but the movie provided some uncomfortable moments. First of all, my dad bounced 15 minutes into the movie to sneak into The Expendables (I’m not joking). That left my mom and me to “enjoy” an awkward sex scene between George and some prostitute, a classy one of course. Girl was topless and moaning the entire time. My mom and I started giggling and I’m pretty sure the rest of the theater was questioning their decision to see this movie.

To sum up, without spoilers, George Clooney falls in love, discovers he’s being set up and the movie shows a glimpse of what a thriller it could have been. Could. Have. Been. If this thing is nominated for an Oscar for directing or something like that, my jaw will literally drop. My advice to you: stick with Ocean’s Eleven, George Clooney.

Spend or Save? SAVE ya money

Calling All You Juiceheads

For those of us who tuned in to this Thursday's episode of Jersey Shore, don't be shy, you are in the company of 5.3 million others each week, the highly advertised fight between Sammi 'I have no backbone' Sweetheart and Jenny 'the beast' JWOWW played out to a disappointing end...

When Pauly D. awoke mid-afternoon after the usual night out fist-pumping between grenades and gorillas, was he surprised to see fake nails and long pieces of hair-weave strewn about the grimy pasta bowls and empty forty-ounce bottles in their kitchen? Maybe so, though he was too concerned with the status of his blowout to really take notice. However, to hear Sammi parading throughout the house that she 'slayed 'the beast'' was injustice that can only be compared to the feeling after making an appointment to spray tan, and showing up to find that the machines are empty of spray... or so we can imagine for our dear Snooki Snickers. Although Sammi did get a few taps in on the vivacious JWOWW, it was only because the rest of the house was busy restraining JWOWW, as to stop her from beating the beat on Sammi's face.

The rest of the episode proved to entertain with Sammi continuing to let her boyfriend Ronnie 'smush' her while creeping on landmines in the club. Other amusing parts included roommate Vinnie referring to other roommate Angelina as the 'Rob Kardashian of Staten Island,' then proceeding to hop in bed with her, Snooki enjoying time with a stranger who only refers to her as 'mommy,' and -to no one's surprise- the Situation lifting his shirt whenever possible.

Get your fist-pumpin' ready for a special episode this Sunday before the VMA's. Until then, stay fresh to death. Episode: B

When people stop being polite...you get The Real World: New Orleans

So…I’ve been keeping up with this season of The Real World: New Orleans which is really not normal for me. I mean, MTV’s The 10 Spot will hold a special place in my heart back in the days of the Real World New York with Mike aka WWE’s the Miz, but since then, I’ve only channel surfed through MTV around 10 pm. However, I can honestly say that this is the best season of The Real World since Las Vegas and we know how out-of-control, not-appropriate-for-television that season was. But this season is different. They actually chose a great cast that interacts well and have seemingly equal air time.

Let me start off by saying that ever since The Real World upped the cast number from seven to eight, they’ve had better drama. Four boys and four girls go together much more evenly than the awkward third wheel, or dreaded fifth wheel. And speaking from someone who has been the third wheel in a lot of situations, no one likes to sit there awkwardly like while two people canoodle at dinner.

Back to this season- the cast is awesome and it seems like all of them have some pretty hefty back-stories which makes me love each and every one of them a little bit more, save Ryan. That crazy kook is downward spiraling so fast that I don’t even know what happened to him. Other castmates I love to hate or hate to love:

Jemmye – She has this crazy accent/possible speech impediment, regularly gets belligerent on Bourbon Street, usually cries every episode, but is still somehow lovable. Also, her relationship with Knight brings me to my next hate to love character.

Knight – The fact that he is visibly losing weight on the show due to his recent stint in rehab says a lot about his past. He was addicted to pain meds, has slayed over 50 girls, but is absolutely adorable. When I see him and Jemmye together, I’m either cringing or cooing because it’s just too darn cute.

Ryan – Ah, the villain. He has the weirdest isms I’ve ever seen: he uses his blow dryer on himself to keep warm, he rubs people’s earlobes, and has the weakest gag reflex known to man. Not a fan. If anyone IS a fan out there (and I know you exist because of Youtube videos like this) you should seriously reconsider your life choices.

Eric – I’m simply putting Eric’s name on here so I can talk about how delicious looking he is. Blue eyes, light brown skin. He had me at hello.

The season finale is on next week (9/15) at 10 pm and even if you haven’t watched this season thus far, I strongly suggest you tune in because Ryan, aka the Villain, is coming back and it should provide some good television.


The Real World New Orleans: A-

Hey HEY Hey

Welcome to "The Secret Life of the American Graduate", the blog about all things movies and TV. Introducing Yalof & Fasy, two recent college graduates with BA’s in kicking ass and taking names. With a passion for movie quotes and pop culture, these girls will be here to provide movie reviews, television show reviews, and general entertainment. Not sure whether or not to spend that $10 on that new wanna-be Ocean’s Eleven heist movie? Well, don’t and check here to see why. Quotable quotes from movies? We’ve got ‘em. NBC tries to come up with a sitcom to rival Modern Family and we’ll tell you whether or not we believe it’s succeeded. And on top of all of that we’re offering our comic relief. Who could ask for more? (That was hypothetical, people.) A brief introduction to the players:


Fasy – Current world champ of Harry Potter trivia, she holds a special place in her heart for all 80's flicks and reality shows that live out her deep desire to have a camera crew follow her around 24/7 such as Jersey Shore or Bachelor Pad. Her wit and comedic taste is most comparable to that of Amanda Bynes in "She's the Man" with the belief that- "Heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway." Also, if you see her refer to someone called 'Mona,' that is her giant buttocks which she herself named after the Mona Lisa and plants into conversation often.

Yalof – Lover of comedies, anything on Bravo, Mean Girls (back when Lindsay Lohan was a straight-up ginger), and almost anything entertaining. Determined to one day be on Saturday Night Live (she even wrote her Senior Thesis on the show), some might say she’s like Liz Lemon -“But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?” But in the end, Yalof is a character of her own.

We would like to officially welcome you to our site:  mi blog es su blog kinda thing.  We'll be kicking off our reviews with the fall TV line-up and upcoming blockbusters so if there's anything you want us to review, leave a comment!