Quotable Quote

"I've been chasing dicks since I came out of the womb."
-Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta

Wait...what?  Is that even allowed on television?  Oh, and if you're wondering in what context it was said, she was trying to explain that some people, herself included, don't understand her newfound love for women. 

How Do I Spend My Thursday Nights?

Community

Just last night I saw Joel McHale live at the Oakdale Theater. He was funny. He did little bits that I could imagine being on his show, The Soup. What he didn’t do, however, was plug his own show, Community. Now, I already watch that show, but it made me respect him a little bit more (because I know him personally and all…).

Thursday’s episode is sure to be a classic. The study group finds themselves competing for Jeff’s time after an old lawyer colleague, Alan Connor (played by Rob Corddry from Hot Tub Time Machine) finds Jeff after coming to Greendale for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Shortly after meeting Alan, Annie realizes that she recognizes him from a past NA meeting where he bragged about turning Jeff into the National Bar Association for false lawyer credentials (whew). Of course, he has a difficult time believing his study buddies and chooses to go to a law office party instead of the Pop and Lockathon which the group committed to. The contest is also Senor Chang’s chance to finally join the study group which lands him as the sole contestant for their team, the Heather Pop & Locklears. At a party where Drew Carey stars as a partner of the company, Annie, Troy, & Abed finagle their way into an office to prove Alan turned Jeff in while also drugging a janitor. There is literally too much in this episode to comment on including Jeff’s line “Don’t sue her. She’s a stripper. Life sued her and she lost.” The team ends up getting disqualified while an evil-laughing Chang passes out with fury.
Episode Grade: A-

30 Rock

“When It Rains It Pours” was the name of the episode and a very fitting tagline for the theme of the episode. Liz Lemon finds herself getting attention from all walks of man for the sole fact that she is in a relationship. Paul Giamatti plays a TGS editor spreading rumors about a fake relationship he kindled with Liz Lemon. A masked page is running around The Girly Show set completing tasks that no one has been able to do since Kenneth left. Jack and Avery find out they are having a son so Jack takes it upon himself to make a video diary providing advice on every possible situation his son may find himself in…including how to camouflage yourself. Tracy is busy finding a way to make it to the hospital for the birth of his third child and lands himself in the Cash Cab with Ben Bailey.

His odd experiences somehow give him the knowledge to answer all his questions correctly for instance, when did the U.S. receive the Statue of Liberty? Jack Donaghy reveals the masked page to be Kenneth and then is stunned again when he finds out he will be father to a daughter, not a son. The jokes never stopped coming during this half hour comedy.
Episode Grade: A

The Office

Michael Scott must suffer the repercussions of the alleged spanking incident and undergo counseling. His assigned counselor? His arch nemesis, Toby. After three hours and many failed attempts to get through to Michael, Toby tricks Michael into playing games with hopes of him opening up. It works! Until Michael finds out and is infuriated. Pam is tired of being an awful salesperson. The only other option is creating a faux position: Office Administrator. Meanwhile, Dwight has been denied service at a store in the mall because of what he assumes to be his appearance. The office collaborates to help Dwight pull a “Pretty Woman” on the store, letting them know what a big mistake they made. Later, we find out that Dwight was refused service because of the safety hazard he posed by having blood smeared over his hands. It was another classic episode, including this typical Kelly Kapoor line, “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out.” I can relate.
Episode Grade: A-

I chose to not watch Outsourced this week because it failed to wow me the week before. Sorry if I let any of you down, though I'm sure I didn't.

The Spotlight of the Month: Emma Stone

So Fasy had the idea that each month, we would feature an actor or actress who we would put under the spotlight.  You know, like talk about a newcomer to show business and films you can find them in, or perhaps reflect on a classic performer.  This month, we’re going with:

Emma Stone

  She can be seen in the film Easy A out this month.  You may recognize her from Superbad or even Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.  She has a husky voice and a unique look, but she stands out on her own.   

Easy A

With her vocabulary that surpasses most college graduates, Emma Stone as faux-promiscuous high school student, Olive, takes the cake in Easy A.  You give an inch, they take a mile.  Olive went along with a lie about losing her virginity and so her life turned into a destructive black hole in which she is portrayed as a harlot.

Emma Stone knows her role and plays it well.  And what role is that, exactly?  Well, after her best friend, Rhiannon, mistakes Olive’s silence as an indication that she had sex with a community college student over the weekend, Olive becomes the jezebel that rumors say she is.  After the rumor leaked that Olive was no longer a virgin, she decides to fight back with words to her haters from the Christian Club.  This lands her in detention where she reconnects with Brandon, a not-yet-out gay friend.  Olive inadvertently suggests that he pretend to be straight to assimilate to high school life and in turn landed herself in a predicament.  She has to help Brandon by pretending to have sex with him at one of the most popular girl in school’s house party.  In one of the funniest scenes in the movie where Olive and Brandon spank each other and call out what they believe to be “dirty talk”, they have successfully convinced the school of their hook-up.  The rumor mill is at it again, except this time, she is getting noticed…by the losers of the school looking for her to perform the same deed she did for Brandon:  a fake hook-up.  Effectively turning herself into somewhat of a prostitute, Olive allows boys to spread rumors about their non-existent sexcapades in turn for gift cards to Office Depot and lotions from Bath & Body Works.  The Christian Club is closing in on her possible expulsion leading Olive to sew the letter “A” onto all of her corsette tops, channeling her inner Hester Prynne. 

Up until now, the movie had pretty accurately depicted high school.  And then, we see a high school sex scandal unravel before our very eyes.  The guidance counselor has gotten herself into a sticky situation with a Super Senior by giving him an STD.  In order to save the guidance counselor’s position, the student uses Olive as his decoy when asked who he had sex with.  Emotionally feeling the effect of this rumor, Olive decides to create a video blog to document her actions of the past month.  No rumors, just the truth. 

Admist all of her sexual dealings, Olive finds herself falling for Woodchuck Todd, a friend who has been there all along and knows what really happened, even without Olive telling him.  In a tribute to all John Hughes’ 80’s movies, Olive and Woodchuck Todd ride off on a lawn mower together making sure to fist pump for the camera’s last still shot. 

I enjoyed this movie.  It satisfied my laugh quota for the day and gave me a few new lines to quote.  However, I just really didn’t find it all that believable.  I know that’s what movies are supposed/allowed to do:  be unbelievable.  But that only works with sci-fi for me.  Olive’s slightly unrealistic relationship with her hip parents plays a small part in the movie but has a great impact.  The sharp dialogue between the family members is somewhat unbelievable and yet, they manage to unearth the problem lying behind Olive’s newly adopted provocative wardrobe.  The sex scandal that arises is another issue I have with the realistic aspect of the movie.  But I guess that stuff happens, right?  Rock on, Emma Stone, rock on.

Spend or Save?  Spend…or just wait for its DVD release. 

How Do I Spend My Thursday Nights?

Watching NBC. Plain and simple, that’s what I do. The line-up is unmatched: Community, 30 Rock, The Office, and the newbie, Outsourced. So here is how my Thirsty Thursday panned out:

Community

Last season’s finale left off with Britta confessing her love for Jeff (Joel McHale). His response? Sneaking away to make out with Annie. After their summer vacation, we re-visit the Greendale Community College study buddies and witness the drama that unfolds. After being empowered by other women, Britta must go along with a fake relationship initiated by Jeff in order to continue her reign as the female idol. Betty White guest stars as a crazed and perhaps senile anthropology teacher whose lesson to teach the class about the power of respect turns into attempted murder. Senor Chang (Ken Jeong) finds himself as a student at the very establishment where he was formerly a professor and desperately tries to appear cool so as to receive an invite to the popular study group. The drama arrives when Britta discovers the secret kiss shared between Jeff and Annie. The episode wraps with a brilliant scene in which Senor Chang channels his inner-Gollum in a psychotic yet hilarious monologue.
Episode Grade: A-

30 Rock

Matt Damon guest starred yet again, providing a treat in the very first episode of the season. He plays Carol, a pilot who is dating Liz Lemon. As Jack Donaghy tries to teach Liz about dating tactics, it seems that he’s having some trouble of his own figuring out the motives of his new girlfriend, Avery (played by Elizabeth Banks). Kenneth the Page has left 30 Rockefeller Plaza to work for CBS and Tracy Jordan is having a tough time dealing with the adjustment. In an episode dominated by the all too often inappropriate game of “Would You Rather?” we find out that Liz is terrified of falling into a relationship resembling The Barefoot Contessa and her spouse, Jeffrey. It seemed that this episode was a bit more daring in the FCC regulations department and yet a great episode was produced.
Episode Grade: B+

The Office

The 7th and final season for Michael Scott started off with a bang…and a new opening credits scene! The episode opens with “Lip Dub”, a viral video made for Youtube by the employees of Sabre, the former Dunder Mifflin.



It’s been said that this final season will be a culmination of all things Michael Scott- every storyline they have wanted to do for him and more. The office has a new face: Michael’s unkempt and unruly nephew. Though at first the office doesn’t know that he is related to Michael, they find out and scold Michael for nepotism, a word which he doesn’t quite understand the meaning of. After ruining a brilliant prank that Jim has hatched for Dwight, Pam takes it upon herself to prank Dwight. The prank backfires and she ends up stuck in an elevator with Dwight whose survival instinct kicks in when he decides the need the designate the urine corner. After the incessant complaints to Michael about his useless nephew, Michael scolds him by spanking him in front of the entire office. Definitely not appropriate or legal, but everyone in the office finds it hilarious and reenacts the moment for Pam and Dwight who missed while stuck in the elevator. Great quotes, great cast, great show.
Episode Grade: A

Outsourced

So I decided to give this show a try because I thought the idea had potential. I’m not writing this in past tense because I now disagree, but I also don’t whole heartedly agree…at least not yet. So here’s the run-down: Todd was just trained for a managerial position at an American Novelties telemarketing company. When he returns to his office he finds that they have outsourced their telemarketing to talent in India. He decides to keep his job and his story begins at his new office building. The cast of characters playing the employees is unique to say the least. There’s Manmeet the actor, Gupta the incessant talker, and Madhuri the low-talker. The idea for the show stemmed from a short film made in 2006 but perhaps some more kinks need to be worked out. There were some laughs to be had but I’m not sure how long this politically incorrect show can stay afloat.
Episode Grade: C+

Modern Family: A Trifecta of Perfection

Last semester, my roommate was student-teaching and thus couldn’t leave the couch on weeknights to enjoy the vices most senior college students should. Maybe it was pity for her boring night ahead or perhaps the empty calories I knew I would be consuming in alcohol, but on Wednesday nights, I joined her on our green sofa for a night of wholesome family television, courtesy of ABC. It usually started with The Middle, followed by Modern Family, and ended with Cougartown, a show that we watched simply because the TV was turned on. I fell in love with Modern Family. The three separate families depicted in the show each bring something special and hilarious to the table. Wednesday night (sorry for the late review) brought the premiere of the Emmy-winning comedy and it was nothing short of perfection.

Claire and Phil decide they should polish up and finally sell their old station wagon…that is until Claire breaks down after remembering all the memories that the wagon has provided them with. In a split-second decision, Phil has decided to take Claire and the kids on one last ride in the wagon, complete with the cliché park-the-car-on-the-cliff-overlooking-the-city. When the brakes in the wagon give out, a window of opportunity opened for Claire to yell “What’s the plan, Phil?!” in what is sure to be a classic line of this season.

Meanwhile, Gloria is having issues with Manny’s study date from class. Though she denies the fact that she is not a typical Colombian mother who can’t let go of her son, her actions tell another story. From the dash of salt in the chocolate milk refusal to Manny’s decision to combine notebooks with the study date, Gloria is slowly seeing her son slip away. In the end, he decides to go for another girl. No, not Gloria but rather another girl from his class: Manny the Pimp.

In the third household that rounds out the trifecta, Cam and Mitch are putting together a playhouse/castle for Lily. Mitch, who claims he is a pro at handiwork, thanks to a set design he helped create years ago, is an accident waiting to happen. Cam and Jay (Mitch’s father) work to keep Mitch occupied with childish tasks to keep him away from any harmful tools. Trying to prove himself, he finishes the castle creation and in turn locks himself inside of it with a bird.

Modern Family is undoubtedly a classic television show in the making.

Episode Grade: A