Black Swan...WTF

This picture gives me nightmares.

Upon the movie’s end, I sat speechless for approximately two minutes while the credits started rolling.  Fortunately, I am no longer speechless and thus can attempt to put into words my review of the movie Black Swan starring Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and Vincent Cassel.  The movie is about the cutthroat world of ballet and its ability to delude the dancers that compete for the principal role.  So basically, take that comforting and beautiful idea of ballet that you had in your head and throw it away.  Black Swan gives it to you raw and real and at times even makes you feel uncomfortable.

Natalie Portman plays Nina Sayers in what will inevitably be an Oscar-winning role.  Nina is a perfectionist who is influenced and controlled by her has-been mother and looks up to the person that judges her most, the ballet’s director played by Cassel.  Portman is cast as the lead in a new rendition of Swan Lake where she will play both the white and the black swan.  Then things get funky.  There are a lot of graphic scenes and some unexpected gory scenes as well.  The kind that make you squirm in your seat and wonder if everyone around you feels as awkward as you do.

Portman is scary skinny and plays the innocent role so well that it becomes terrifying to see her turn into her counterpart, the black swan.  The movie had a Shutter Island feel to it in the sense that you’re still not sure what happened in real life and what was imagined.  Chatting with friends won’t help solve your problems…that’s just the reaction director Darren Aronosky wanted from his audience (he is also known for his controversial film, Requiem for a Dream).  Any more word vomit from me and I might give away too much.  And yet, I can’t stop thinking about the movie and developing my own theories as to what it all means. 

Spend or Save?  Spend before someone spoils it all for you.  Not reason enough?  Spend so that you can say you saw the Oscar-winning film before it won all its awards.    

George Clooney's The UN-American

Do you ever watch a preview for a movie and think, "Well, I still don't know what it's about, but I'm sure that's what they were aiming for…"? That was my thought process for George Clooney’s The American. Never again will I think that way. I can honestly put this movie in my top 10 worst movies I’ve ever seen. And believe me, my list is pretty short because I typically have positive reactions to movies.

Here’s the premise: George Clooney is a weapons manufacturer who travels around Italy on a job and tries to find true love and evade an inevitable fate. I couldn’t help but think that he chose to direct/star in this movie because it’s in Italy where everyone knows he practically owns Lake Como. I spent the entire movie wondering when it was going to pick up. It had no background music which is awkward…like my first time watching The Office without a laugh track. Speaking of awkward, I saw it with my parents which isn’t abnormal. I’m at the age where I’m cool with being seen with them and all, but the movie provided some uncomfortable moments. First of all, my dad bounced 15 minutes into the movie to sneak into The Expendables (I’m not joking). That left my mom and me to “enjoy” an awkward sex scene between George and some prostitute, a classy one of course. Girl was topless and moaning the entire time. My mom and I started giggling and I’m pretty sure the rest of the theater was questioning their decision to see this movie.

To sum up, without spoilers, George Clooney falls in love, discovers he’s being set up and the movie shows a glimpse of what a thriller it could have been. Could. Have. Been. If this thing is nominated for an Oscar for directing or something like that, my jaw will literally drop. My advice to you: stick with Ocean’s Eleven, George Clooney.

Spend or Save? SAVE ya money